YouTube Confirms YouTube Red Isn’t For Porn, Instantly Loses 78% Of New Subscribers

YouTube Red has launched in Australia to the collective smile and groan and smile-groan of screen content viewers (see: everyone). But after an initial period of buzz and boost in subscribers, a spokesperson for YouTube has clarified to new users that the service does not stream pornography.

The announcement has seen an instant drop in the number of new Australian subscribers… almost 78% to be precise. The announcement came after hundreds of thousands of people emailed YouTube with questions abut why YouTube Red didn't have porn. YouTube provided us with some of the questions they were emailed:

“Hi, I can’t seem to access any of the pornography you guys are starting to offer”

“My **** is out, and I want to **** with my ***** light. But I can’t seem to remember my password… also, my mate said there was no porn but I thought I’d prepare just in case.”

“Has Red Tube merged with YouTube? Seems plausible.”

Some users pointed out that naming the service Red was misleading and that YouTube should have called it something else. YouTube has released other potential names for the service and it seems like they were really struggling. Some alternatives included: YouTube Netflix, YouTube Stan, and YouTube Hey, Presto!

The launch of the new service (porn or no porn) is exciting news for Australians with severe choice anxiety. Now there is literally no reason to stay inside because whatever you choose to watch, will probably be the wrong thing. So go outside and play everyone, or go up stairs and have a wank.

YouTube is where our first local aussie commission (Aunty Donna) started but now they're part of the Comedy Central family! Check out the first episode of their new Not for TV series Trendy...