Millions Of Virtual Orgasms From Japanese Sex Suits Shut Down Tokyo's Wi Fi Networks
Virtual Reality (VR) is the new television... not really, but it is making headlines. The most recent development has been a sex suit invented by a Japanese company named Tenga. The Daily Show looked into it (and even gave it a test spin... kind of... check out the clip below)
The sex suit plugs men (yes, specifically men) into a VR world where you can have sex with a bunch of ones and zeros. While stimulating you down below, the suit also provides the option of feeling boobs (there really is no other way of writing that). This latest piece of gadgetry (which marks a milestone in human evolution/destruction) has had some disturbing repercussions.
Since being released to Japanese consumers (businessmen), the suits have caused major data overload in Japanese metropolitan districts. Millions of orgasms simultaneously have caused the Wi-Fi networks of many Japanese data providers to shut down. Technicians have been desperately trying to solve the issue but experts have said virtual orgasms which are infinite (rather than real orgasms which are a finite physiological resource) have simply overloaded the current infrastructure.
Many Japanese (especially women) are up in arms over the drop outs and have taken to the street to protest what they call selfish masturbation:
More troubling has been the revelation that some users have been sucked in virtual worlds beyond the scope of our reality, very much like in the movie Tron. The Tokyo metropolitan police has set up a special task force looking into the disappearance of several men who plugged themselves in, only to be sucked into a simulation. Naoyoshi Takatsuna, the superintendent general of the Metropolitan Police Department had this to say:
"We have been working around the clock to save these men from their fate. Operation Rescue Wank has already started trawling through every virtual reality themed film to try and find out what we're dealing with. As the Americans would say: we're in Kansas Dora..."
The various virtual worlds that some men have found themselves in include a Matrix like dystopia and a Total Recall world on mars. But by far the most common simulation trap has been video games. Video games have been at the forefront of VR technology, and Japanese men have now been sucked into an array of old and new games including: Pong, Banjo-Kazooie and FIFA16. Investigators from Operation Rescue Wank have provided the press with images of Japanese businessmen stuck in virtual realities (below.). They did stress that although some of these men may appear happy, this does not mean they want to exist there and may simply be terrified.
A Japanese man stuck in Pong:
A Japanese man passed out in Banjo-Kazooie:
A Japanese businessman stuck in FIFA16:
Comedy Central Nerds & Technophobes believes this is exactly why technology should be embraced with caution. Cum in real life, and then if you feel it may tickle your fancy, try it in VR... but before that, ask yourself this: Do I need to plug myself into a weird sex suit?
Earlier this year, The Daily Show looked at VR in depth, check out Australia's own Ronny Chieng looking at VR through a somewhat different lens:
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