Mark Zuckerberg Plugs Thousands Into VR Machine As Part Of A Creepy New Project Titled “Project No Return”

Facebook CEO and billionaire tech monkey Mark Zuckerberg has rolled out his most audacious and unnerving plan to date: plugging thousands of unsuspecting human beings into his VR machine named: “Project No Return”.

Sceptics and futurists alike have expressed joy and deep profound doubt about what exactly is happening in the large hive-like structures which Facebook has constructed. The hives are growing by the day as more and more people sign up and plug into Zuckerberg’s machine. Facebook is offering money to people for taking part in the experiment.

Mr Zuckerberg explained the project via a press release which Wired magazine has dubbed as “frankly, quite upsetting to read.” The press release states:

Project No Return is our most ambitious project to date. Some of you might find it odd that we’re getting hundreds of thousands of people to plug into our VR simulator simultaneously. But i assure you, waivers have been signed and nutrients will be supplied via intravenous drip.  

Given the fact that no one is yet to unplug and walk out of the hives. Many have started speculating about what exactly is inside the VR world. If you’re keen to plug in, all you need to do is make a Facebook status post which reads: “Plug me in for no return! I want in!”

Comedy Central Technophobe asked Facebook about what the experience of being plugged in is like. A Facebook spokesperson stated:

Imagine if you could be your ideal self. Imagine being reborn into a world where everyone likes you. A world where your face is on the cover of every book.

The spokesperson also clarified that the famous “poke” feature is not included in the latest iteration of Project No Return. Whether you hate Facebook or are a slave to it, project runway could quite possibly be laying the groundwork for what will soon become the Matrix (yes, the Matrix as seen in that popular movie which came out 15 years ago.)

Disclaimer: At this point during the writing of this article, Comedy Central Technophobe signed on to a branded content deal with Facebook.

Despite the conservative stance many have taken on technology, advancements by companies such as Facebook have created the power to connect people in ways we’ve never thought possible. With Facebook’s Project No Return, there’s now a great new way to explore virtual reality. VR is the new television, and now you can be the star. Explore and experience your greatest hopes and dreams in a world where the sun is always shining, and you’re always smiling.