How To Make A Passive Aggressive Meal For Your Selfish House Mate

House mates come in all shapes, sizes and personality types. The selfish kind can be the worst.

If you have a selfish house mate who doesn’t clean up after themselves, leaves lights on or is a supreme filth monster then a great way to deal with them is to be passive aggressive.

The best (and most delicious) form of passive aggression is the indirect kind.

A passive aggressive meal is a great way to say f*ck you to old mate up stairs while maintaining a winning smile.

Taste Bud recommends the following:

Step 1: Set aside a date for “family dinner”.
Step 2: Cook the most complex, delicious meal you can find (check out Donna Hay, that smarmy jerk Jamie Oliver or tweet at Heston Blumenthal asking for recipes.)
Step 3: Dress nice, the goal is for everything to be nice (the real goal is to plant a sense of guilt in their heart.)
Step 4: During the meal, make small talk, and only ask them about their life… be super interested! Eventually they’ll run out of things to say and slowly realise that they’re a monster.
Step 5: For dessert, try the following: sticky date pudding, ice cream, fresh fruit, or cheese cake with a side of nostalgic musings about times when living with them was enjoyable.

Selfish housemates are a part of life. They’ll make you angry and sad, but at the end of the day you need to cover rent collectively.