Comedy Central’s Guide To Leaving The Tap On

Doing terrible things to the environment is a very human practice. Comedy Central doesn’t approve of such actions, however here at Life Guides we feel it’s important to stay objective and to not judge our readers.

Therefore, we have decided to write this handy guide for anyone who wants to leave a tap on. Unlike our First Week Guides (of which you should read each and every single one) this handy guide offers a short step by step method to leaving any tap on whether it’s in the kitchen, bathroom, public restroom or your friend’s house.

5 Easy Steps

Step 1: After you have finished with the tap. Do not turn it off.

Step 2: Make sure that clean, drinkable water continues to pour out of the tap (the kind of water many people throughout the world don’t have access to! Yum!)

Step 3: This step is optional but make sure the tap is on at a moderate to high level of pressure so that when the next person discovers it, they realise you were a complete f*ck head for leaving the tap on.

Step 4: Turn around and walk away, listen to the sound of the running water, and contemplate your actions and what they do or don’t mean. If you’re a sociopath, this step should be easy enough, but for most of us a slow creeping sense of guilt should begin to seep in.

Step 5: Spend the rest of your day enjoying the fact that you left the tap on.

Do’s, Don’ts and Definitely Don’ts:

Do:

Leave the tap on.
Leave it on at a moderate to high level of pressure.
Feel awful about it later.

Don’t:

Not leave the tap off.
Leave the tap on… why are you even reading this.
Not feel like a f*ck head.

Definitely Don’t

Not not leave the tap on.
Try this at home.
Suggest others try this at your home.