“At Least It’s Not Zombies” - Cruise Ship Captain Claims Gastro Outbreak Could Be Worse

Going on a cruise should be a joyful event. But for many, sickness can inhibit the pleasurable times aboard the giant floating townships which trawl the globe.

Passengers on board the Diamond Princess (currently docked in Sydney Harbour) have described the 12-day cruise as the ‘voyage of the damned’ with claims of mass vomiting - in the ship’s pools, hallways and super fun leisure areas.

Surprisingly however, the ship's captain has come out claiming passengers of the vomit ship should be glad the outbreak wasn’t a zombie virus.

“This isn’t a voyage of the damned… we should be thankful we’re spewin’ instead of eating each others brains.”

The outbreak of gastro has been caused by a common stomach bug and the captain claims that there are far worse things out there.

“What if it was 28 Days Later Virus?... we have it pretty good...  sure people are vomiting in the pool, running down hallways and having a generally horrendous time. But at least we’re not running for our lives.”