Trump Promises Wall To Keep Pokémon In - Japan And Mexico Will Pay For It
Mr Trump laid out his plan for the wall, claiming it will increase American’s chances of catching them all. More importantly however, Mr Trump has assured tax payers the wall will be paid for by the Japanese (since they invented Pokémon) and Mexico (because they’re already paying for that other wall.)
Speaking of that other wall, critics have already asked Mr Trump why he’s building two walls as well as the more obvious question: Why even build a wall when the Pokémon in Pokémon Go aren’t tangible.
Mr Trump considered such questions from reporters during a press conference and had this to say:
I gotta tell ya, I’ve done phenomenal business with the Japanese. Very hard working people, very, a lot of them are good friends of mine. But if they wanna do business here in the states, they need to play by our rules. Too many Pokémon are leaving this country and it has to stop.
Pressed further on the issue of the fact that the Pokémon in question are simply code and not tangible. Mr Trump had this to say:
It's a literal wall and a digital firewall, so they won’t be able to escape. We're talking about augmented reality here, half of that is still reality. Just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they're not real.
Mr Trump also reiterated that building two walls is like wearing two condoms. We weren’t entirely sure what to make of that. Mr Trump also mentioned that Pokémon Go had reminded him of the character Brock and that he was glad he remembered Brock and how great he was.
Do you enjoy Pokémon Go? Cool! Maybe take a break from it and watch this sketch from Aunty Donna instead:
Comedy Central writes parody and satire. The above is not real, so put that phone down.
A Definitive Guide To All Of Obama's Daily Show Appearances
Two terms, two hosts and eight appearances on The Daily Show. Here's one for the hardcore Barry O fans...
Make Australia Great Again with Rhys Nicholson
Rhys Nicholson advocates for a white genocide.
Here's Your First Look At The Workaholics Season 7 Premiere!
The boys are back for one final season and we have a couple of tasty tidbits to keep the thirst at bay...
So Much Space with Greg Fleet
Comedian Greg Fleet begins an epic tale of space and comedy...
Gallery: Every Choomah In The Big Lez Show!
This is real skitz... we made a gallery of every Choomah in The Big Lez Show!
Being A Single Dad with Aaron Gocs
Aaron Gocs explores the life, times, life-times and tribulations of being a single dad.
Facebook Release Feed Filter Glasses To Deal With Feed Overload And Bias
Overwhelmed by the non-stop screaming match around the election on your feed? Facebook has just the solution for you.
Programmers Rush To Update Melania Trump So She Can Operate As First Lady
For the first time in history, a cyborg will be the First Lady... however, a major overhaul is required.
How Fat Can You Make Donald Trump?
Try your hand at this interactive piece to see how fat you can make Donald Trump...
What Is Donald Trump Made Of?
He could be the next President, but what is he really made of?
Greasy Screens with Becky Lucas (Part 3)
In the third and final installment of Greasy Screens, all of Becky's dreams come true... not really.
What Is A Race Horse Made Of?
A very accurate diagram explaining one of natures wealthiest creatures...