Telstra Hires 5000 Alexander Graham Bell Impersonators To Promote Landlines
Telstra are in search of 5000 lookalikes of the 19th century inventor Alexander Graham Bell.
The casting call is part of a campaign to encourage people to begin using landline phones again. Telstra CEO Andy Penn believes that despite the rapid changes in the telecommunications industry, landlines should still remain relevant.
The campaign will see the lookalikes (dressed exactly like the 18th century Scottish inventor) wandering the streets of major Australian cities, in shopping centers, hosting sausage sizzles and knocking on doors to teach people about the benefits of landlines.
In a press release, Mr Penn stated that:
“Telstra believes in innovation and looking to the future, but we must also maintain traditional forms of communication so we don’t lose touch with our past.”
Mr Penn continued:
“Once landlines are gone, next in line will be our smartphones. Then what will we have, earpieces? Contact lenses as screens on our eyeballs? That’s no way to communicate. We’ll all be wandering around chattering away like a bunch of crazies.”
Marketing experts are puzzled as to why the Telco is spending so much on what is essentially a niche market. Some suspect Telstra management is trying to offload excess inventory of landlines, which have been piling up over the years.
When questioned about this Mr Penn stated:
“of course we don’t have warehouses of useless phones piled up. Warehouses… can you imagine?... I’m not saying we do… but imagine if we did… would you buy one? I would. Buy a land line everyone.”
Consumer rights groups however have welcomed the move, calling it a victory for old people who are terrified of technology. Grandmothers and grandfathers, great aunts and great uncles across the country have also applauded the campaign, looking forward to many conversations with their loved ones.
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