Russian Jets Flying Over US Warship Dropped Off Tamagotchi Toys
Despite the clear aggression, muscle flexing and dick swinging conducted by Russia in the Baltic on Tuesday, the US military has said the jets (which flew dangerously close to a US warship) despatched a box of six small Tamagotchi toys. Of the 6 Tamagotchis; 5 are now owned by members of the crew and 1 was sent to the White House. However President Barack Obama is up in arms after his Tamagotchi died while in transit.
The Commander of the ship has apologised to the President saying that the death of the pet was unprofessional and a failure of the US Navy. He has since submitted his resignation.
In a press conference the President had this to say:
"Tamagotchis are old school. These days it’s all about smartphones and gaming… just once I wanted a self contained digital animal I could call a pet. The girls have a dog, Michelle has me… what do I got? Nothin’..."
Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent his condolences to the president and has despatched a Russian submarine to encroach US waters and send the President another gift which quote “may or may not be another cool toy.”
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