Cristiano Ronaldo Writes PhD On How To Kick Ball
The scientific community are applauding Portuguese footballer Cristiano Ronaldo after the Real Madrid player was awarded a PhD from the University of Greater Spain. Mr Ronaldo’s central thesis was that spherical objects move through space very fast if one kicks them with their legs as opposed to throwing them using their arms.
His paper titled “The Movement of Spherical Objects Through Space” was published in the peer reviewed Journal of Modern Physics and has been a work in progress for the last four years. In that time, Cristiano Ronaldo (as part of his research) scored an abnormally high number of goals and won an array of awards -- including the FIFA Footballer of the Year.
The findings have amazed the scientific community and many physicists who have been searching for the best way to move spheres through space. The footballer’s work has also shed light on one of the greatest mysteries surrounding professional football: how exactly it is that footballers are able to move spheres?
The paper also explains why professional athletes are praised so highly in society and paid such large sums of money. What many don’t realise is that playing sports is hard, and it takes a lot of time and focus. Unlike surgery, rocket science, teaching and engineering, professional sports require an immense amount of physical exertion, which can be tiring. Ronaldo’s paper elaborates on this point:
“When moving spherical objects, it’s important to realise that the brain is also being called upon to determine the necessary required set of movements to make sure the sphere has the right amount of force applied on it.”
Celebrate Portugal's victory with a delicious cocktail in this very funny sketch made by Aussie sketch trio Aunty Donna:
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