White Man Encourages Son To Start Playing Golf
Saying that golf was the best way to get ahead in life, investment banker Ian Stevens confirmed on Sunday, during family dinner, that he had gently encouraged his son Matthew to give the game a try.
“I just want to make sure Matthew makes the most of his youth, and practices a game that he will use to network with management consultants for the rest of his life.” Mr Stevens added.
Sources confirm that Matthew, who had recently started work experience at a consulting firm thanks to his father’s connections, told his father he was considering volunteering at a local youth centre that week.
But Mr Stevens promptly suggested his son join him and his work colleagues for a round of golf that same day, informing Matthew that “the best way to get ahead in life is to mingle with the upper echelons of society.”
Mr Stevens continued:
“Matthew, I think it’s very important that you take an interest in what old white men like: golf, sailing and conservative ideals. After all, son, they control the major economic, political and culturally significant institutions in the industrialised western world. Your mother and I just want what’s best for you.”
Mr Steven’s wife, Patricia, agreed with her husband, while their seventeen year old daughter Christine quietly ate, deep in thought about the small Om symbol she had recently tattooed on the inside of her thigh.
As of Monday morning, several sources close to the Stevens family expressed their relief that Matthew had agreed to give up his planned charity work and to start practicing his swing.
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