How To Make A Trendy Cocktail According To Aunty Donna
So you’re at a trendy bar on a trendy night with your trendy friends and you want to get real trendy… but what’s that you say? What should I order to prove to everyone that I’m real Trendy? A cocktail of course. But what kind of cocktail? Let’s just call it the surprise cockatil… here’s the recipe along with some instructions:
1. Start with some Ice.
2. Add three shots of Gordon’s Gin.
3. Shake well with 3-4 arms.
4. Add some mint.
5. Add sugar around the rim of the glass.
6. Throw everything (including the glass) in a trash can and shake while screaming, open bin and spill the dice onto the bar top… make sure you score a Yahtzee!
7. Take the winnings in poker chips and crush them into the glass.
8. Retrieve a grape from the mouth of Spice Boy. Be sure to use a hazmat suit and dispose of Spice Boy as soon as possible.
9. Tip the glass and its cotents into a blender.
10. Chop off a colleagues arm and blend it into the drink.
11. Take the collective memories of the customer (preferably from their childhood up until that specific moment in time) and place them into the drink. Controlling the orb of memory can be quite a challenge.
12. Serve the drink.
13. Final Touch: Before they take a sip, surprise them like you’re a ghost, then call them a c*nt.
Actual Recipe (we would not recommend this.):
A shot of Gordon’s Gin.
Place sugar around the rim of the glass.
Add blue Gatorade
Add in a grape.
Add Tomato juice or canned tomatoes.
TLDR? Here's an instructional video:
Aunty Donna will be going on a live tour from the 3rd of June until the 2nd of July and will be playing 8 shows across Australia. For more info head to auntydonna.com
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