EXCLUSIVE: We Chat To Tom Ballard About All Things Roast

Tom Ballard is a very very good and very nice comedian. Which is why it was hard to imagine him lay it down on Comedy Central Roast Battles… but lay it down he did. Unfortunately the greasy naked body of Earl Skakel trumped Tom and saw him knocked out first round.

How did it feel competing this year as opposed to last year?

It was terrifying. Last year it was just a late-night super silly fuck around show; this year there were cameras and make-up and pressure and I didn't urinate enough before going out there. 

What kind of mind set do you get into before a Roast Battle?

You're really just running over your jokes obsessively. Again and again, my horrible lines I'd written about this person I'd met the day before were rattling around my head. I felt insane. 

You don’t seem like a mean person, do you find it hard channeling that side of you for a Roast Battle?

I actually love it so very, very much. I'm a painfully politically correct person, so to be given permission to get real dark and real fucked up in your jokes is actually jolly good fun.    

That last question assumes you need to be mean in order to battle. If not, what do you need to battle?

It's not so much meanness, it's just about the jokes. Comedians only get offended if the joke you wrote about them isn't funny enough. If the folks are laughing, all is well in the world, even if you did just mention AIDS, the holocaust and murder. 

We’re assuming you’re a nice person, yet you may very well be a monster. Are you a monster?

I don't know anymore. Maybe the Roast Battle me is the real me and everything else is a lie. 

From all the contestants competing, who would you like to take down the most?

Jimmy Carr defeated me last year, so to return the favour would be sweet indeed. 

Which judge do you find most intimidating?

Sarah Silverman is my spirit animal. I couldn't stand to be responsible for seeing disappointment in her eyes. 

If you could roast anyone in Australia, who would it be and why?

Eddie "McGoldmine" McGuire. 

If you could roast anyone in the world, who would it be and why?

I'm going to stick with Eddie, actually. 

What food do you like to roast the most?

I'm a vegetarian (booooring) so I love me some roasted winter vegetables. I also enjoy spit roasts, but that's nothing to do with food.